WOOSH! Anybody else hit with powerful (even painful) insights and openings during that Full Moon in Gemini two weeks ago, and the first Saturn/Neptune square the day after? I couldn't write about it I just had to lean in to some profound discomfort and mind-bending happenings. And the hits just keep on coming... stretching my ability to love and giving me real opportunities to do so unconditionally. There were so many moments of unbearable tension and resistance and then... breakthrough. When I feel that inner chaos now, a part of me gets excited as more and more I recognize this for what it is: a sign that new tenderness and intimacy with life (Venus in Scorpio) is nigh.
In keeping with the themes of this New Moon, there is just too much to express. Jupiter rules Sagittarius and this augmenting force in Virgo speaks of overwhelming detail, beyond even Sagittarius' expansive sights. My intuition tells me we are all undergoing a serious realignment with our life force. But being un-apologetically you is going to trigger some folks, because there is no known point of reference for what you're bringing from your deepest core. From that place, you aren't worried about the unfairness of projections or making sure the other person understands or accepts what you (re)present. Rather, you can't help but commit to seeing yourself with sometimes excruciating honesty. At this point, a good laugh usually does the trick to deliver you into a humble and loving space. Sagittarius is learning to express its joy rather than seek it.
I cannot think of a more representative placement for the unique genius (Uranus) inherent to each self (Aries) than Uranus in Aries, which exactly opposes Mars in Libra around this New Moon and forms a T-Square to Pluto in Capricorn. It may feel mighty uncomfortable to not just be who we are, no shits given, this weekend. But not from a wounded place. Because Mercury, also in Capricorn, may tend towards becoming distant as a form of self-protection, if given the chance to commune with others. But its sextile to Neptune in Pisces and Venus in Scorpio offers the urge to express those buried treasures of self (Mercury in Capricorn) and truly marinate in the beauty of those around you. Moving towards compassionate "being with" (Neptune in Pisces) and true intimacy (Venus in Scorpio) - and the vulnerability that comes with it - we can finally topple outworn structures (Pluto in Capricorn) and channel the generative tension between adhering to our core (Uranus in Aries) while being amongst others - in relationship and even in conflict (Mars in Libra).
Aside from Jupiter in Virgo, every planet and astrological feature is found in the "upper" part of the chart for this New Moon. This speaks to showing up and risking being seen. I know this process of coming out with who you really are is pure magic. Saturn in Sagittarius trine Uranus in Aries speaks of making that initial commitment, which is the most difficult part. But then you speak and intuition fills what you thought would be blanks. More than likely, waves of self-consciousness will weave in and out as you keep on channeling. The peaking energy of excitement as you express what you never knew was inside of you can really trip you up too. Although - returning to this notion of inner treasure - if those momentary gems weren't so rare, would they be so valuable either?
So there you go. My little demonstration of bringing some more "me" out. Oscillating between awkwardness and crisply wrapped gifts. Fuzzy ideas forming a few points of relative interest. Ending too abruptly.
Happy New Moon in Sagittarius!
The New Moon in Libra happening this evening has me thinking about inter-subjectivity (a fancy word for being in relation) and about how our senses grant us privileged access to this world of relationship. In Chani Nicholas' Libra Moon write-up, she beautifully describes how our relationships bring us into greater intimacy with all aspects of our self, even trigger points and wounds. These Libra-specific lessons have been right on queue for me inter-personally, as I am sure you all are feeling this to one degree or another. Mutable and Cardinal T-squares overlap at this lunation, involving all of the outer planets, the Moon and the Sun. These pressurized formations can feel like clearing via painful extraction. With Saturn (heavy) and Pluto (deep) at the head of the Mutable and Cardinal T-squares, respectively, we may be in the midst of a super-gunky process.
When the Moon is new, it aligns with the Sun in our sky signaling both the start of a new cycle and a moment of balance, a very Libran quality. Libra is a Cardinal Air sign and this configuration speaks to me of the in-breath. Air is something we all share, regardless of the mystery of our differences. Even just a pause for slow, full breaths can smooth the ragged edges of any given moment. Air surrounds us as our internal spaces and cells surround air. Air is our very first gift of life, gathered from the outside world in our mother's lungs and delivered directly through her blood. The average person takes 17-30,000 breaths per day. Our blood circulates our body about three times per minute, traveling the distance of about four U.S. coast-to-coast trips in one day. You are an intricately wrapped series of invisible yet critical, constantly in motion, hundreds of thousands of cyclical journies of renewal.
These incomprehensible miracles of being are free for you to touch upon, especially if you are feeling down, under-appreciated or under-whelmed in the wings of this New Moon. Like air, our core self, the truth of who we know we are, is invisible. Not subject to rational understanding, it can be felt. Right now, if you shut your eyes or fold your hands you can feel the embrace of self. Lid upon lid, lip touching lip, sense and recover the potency of these small, subtle, taken-for-granted points of self-contact. As these intimate, complementary parts come together the senses simultaneously withdraw and you are inclined to turn inside. The bumps in the road of relationship point to those features in our internal landscape that we can witness with compassion, tenderness and love.
We're coming up on the annual New Moon in Leo. The fixed fire sign of the lion is ruled by the Sun. The Sun accounts for 99% of the mass in our solar system. Yes. Accounting for the combined mass of Earth and all the other planets, many of which are gas giants, it all makes up just 1%. And because atoms are 99% space, when it comes to Earth's human inhabitants, if you took out all of that space, out of all 7 billion of us or so combined, our matter would roughly fit inside of an orange.
Wow. Our middle-aged sun is also estimated to be 4.5 billion years old with another 5 billion years left. Our individual life span would not even register on that pie graph. All of the drama and perceived significance of our daily lives plays out inside of this grand mystery, on a relative scale so infinitesimal that is laughable, awesome, and freaky.
On this lunation we have the Sun conjunct Venus and the Moon and Mars all in Leo. All of these bodies are in the realm of the personal (as opposed to the outer, slower and more massive trans-personal planets) in the sign of individuation. I bring up the unfathomable scale of all that is and these cosmic perspectives because, with all these personality- and individual drama-centered themes going on, it can be healing to connect with the paradox of significance/insignificance, and feel a deep sense of wonder and curiosity about the very, very strange nature of existence, to touch upon the absurd.
But let's be honest. If you've been following local and world events right now, you probably do not need to consider the mind-boggling circumference of the Sun in order to feel some sense of comparative triviality. Pluto's (destruction, transformation, rebirth) passage through Capricorn (law, authority, institutions) and Neptune in it's own sign of Pisces (dissolution, confusion) are reflected in the current global state of affairs, our rapid arrival upon a steep ecological precipice and countless examples of societal dissolution and disillusionment.
They say the Milky Way consists of between 200 and 400 billion stars and at least 100 billion planets. There are an estimated 100 billion galaxies (and it is possibly, probably infinite). Our star will inevitably die and take this planet out with it. We are just the surface-dwellers of a planet that has experienced five known mass extinctions. Each of us lives within a closed-loop cycle of birth and death.
So what are we all doing here, riding this seemingly endless spiral path on spaceship Earth? This current moon cycle began in the waters of Cancer (sensitivity, intuition). The vessel of the moon, having achieved full flowering and illumination in Aquarius (idealism, humanitarian vision), incrementally poured out all her light over two weeks time and now she will take an empty pause in Leo (self-awareness, heart-centered expression).
This Leo/Aquarius spectrum very much relates to how we as a part (Leo) relate to the whole (Aquarius). I am not suggesting we need to "figure out" the meaning of our lives as they relate the larger picture. I hope the considerations I have drawn out in this post actually help us surrender the impulse to make sense of everything. Rather, this cycle's inaugural Cancerian energies ask us to take a dive beyond the rational mind into deeper sensing and feeling. Cancer has ties to the subconscious and irrational, and a knowing that cannot be explained. In the quiet of your mind, using your extraordinary powers of perception, zoom in or out - it doesn't matter which - as far as you possibly can. Feel the 37 trillion cells of your body, each with its own nuclear spark, it's specialized consciousness. How many whirring atoms is that? Sense the earth as a minute speck among 100 octillian - innumerable! - stars in the universe. Slip into that profound sense of being in love with life, your life and humanity, such as it all is. Because really, who knows what this is all about?
This new moon in Leo also kicks off the next cycle, which expresses through the energies of the Virgo/Pisces axis, very much associated with healing and sacred enchantment. Marinate in what inspires you and if motivations arise, do not worry about how you will go about expressing, accomplishing or completing them. Plant seeds and give them time to germinate, perhaps making smaller, symbolic gestures if it feels right. As the sun moves into practical, crafty Virgo, you will likely find yourself more resourced for real taking steps, or simply getting in touch with your processes and rituals. Another opportunity to love the uniqueness that is you (Leo)!
And the mystery of life just continues to unfold. I'll leave you with sweet words from the inspiring, exceptional Fiona Apple who reminds us that our only purpose here is to make our unique splash, become one distinct wave and "sink back into the ocean."
Happy new moon, everyone!
My little, well-loved slice of cyber space is like a playground, a pillow for my head to dream upon, a public confessional for the sweetest secrets of my humanity. Thank you for visiting, whoever you are!