WOOSH! Anybody else hit with powerful (even painful) insights and openings during that Full Moon in Gemini two weeks ago, and the first Saturn/Neptune square the day after? I couldn't write about it I just had to lean in to some profound discomfort and mind-bending happenings. And the hits just keep on coming... stretching my ability to love and giving me real opportunities to do so unconditionally. There were so many moments of unbearable tension and resistance and then... breakthrough. When I feel that inner chaos now, a part of me gets excited as more and more I recognize this for what it is: a sign that new tenderness and intimacy with life (Venus in Scorpio) is nigh.
In keeping with the themes of this New Moon, there is just too much to express. Jupiter rules Sagittarius and this augmenting force in Virgo speaks of overwhelming detail, beyond even Sagittarius' expansive sights. My intuition tells me we are all undergoing a serious realignment with our life force. But being un-apologetically you is going to trigger some folks, because there is no known point of reference for what you're bringing from your deepest core. From that place, you aren't worried about the unfairness of projections or making sure the other person understands or accepts what you (re)present. Rather, you can't help but commit to seeing yourself with sometimes excruciating honesty. At this point, a good laugh usually does the trick to deliver you into a humble and loving space. Sagittarius is learning to express its joy rather than seek it.
I cannot think of a more representative placement for the unique genius (Uranus) inherent to each self (Aries) than Uranus in Aries, which exactly opposes Mars in Libra around this New Moon and forms a T-Square to Pluto in Capricorn. It may feel mighty uncomfortable to not just be who we are, no shits given, this weekend. But not from a wounded place. Because Mercury, also in Capricorn, may tend towards becoming distant as a form of self-protection, if given the chance to commune with others. But its sextile to Neptune in Pisces and Venus in Scorpio offers the urge to express those buried treasures of self (Mercury in Capricorn) and truly marinate in the beauty of those around you. Moving towards compassionate "being with" (Neptune in Pisces) and true intimacy (Venus in Scorpio) - and the vulnerability that comes with it - we can finally topple outworn structures (Pluto in Capricorn) and channel the generative tension between adhering to our core (Uranus in Aries) while being amongst others - in relationship and even in conflict (Mars in Libra).
Aside from Jupiter in Virgo, every planet and astrological feature is found in the "upper" part of the chart for this New Moon. This speaks to showing up and risking being seen. I know this process of coming out with who you really are is pure magic. Saturn in Sagittarius trine Uranus in Aries speaks of making that initial commitment, which is the most difficult part. But then you speak and intuition fills what you thought would be blanks. More than likely, waves of self-consciousness will weave in and out as you keep on channeling. The peaking energy of excitement as you express what you never knew was inside of you can really trip you up too. Although - returning to this notion of inner treasure - if those momentary gems weren't so rare, would they be so valuable either?
So there you go. My little demonstration of bringing some more "me" out. Oscillating between awkwardness and crisply wrapped gifts. Fuzzy ideas forming a few points of relative interest. Ending too abruptly.
Happy New Moon in Sagittarius!
Tomorrow, as the Sun in Scorpio squares off with the Moon in Leo, the relationship between seriousness and play comes to mind. Although the two are not opposites nor mutually exclusive, if someone gets playful with someone else who wants to be taken seriously, what results can range from painful misunderstanding to open hostility. I think this productive tension - between an urge towards the depths and to remain on the surface, dissipating shadows and perhaps deferring pain - encapsulates the energy of a Scorpio/Leo square.
Square aspects, yes, are triggering. The gift that comes from negotiating the challenges of a square expresses the middle path between each side in conflict. The Sun in a water sign and the Moon in fire just underscores the suggestion of a yin/yang situation. Seemingly frivolous Leo can use humor to cope with and transmute human suffering. Having attended to the depths of sobering experience, Scorpio's expanded and refined soul tastes the sweetness of life all the more vividly and with greater appreciation for lighter times.
I see the New Moon as carrying the signature for the overall continuum of energies expressed in her full cycle. The New Moon in Libra stamped this cycle with themes of remembering life as a gift, appreciating the continual renewal of air in our lungs and the exquisite fact of the mystery that dwells in an around us at all times. Last week's Full Moon in Taurus furthered this message about our quality of presence, asking us to remain in the flow of our senses and enjoy the richness of experience we've already cultivated. This Last-Quarter Square in Leo invites us to become masters at balancing moments full of paradox.
Within the statement "everything I say is a lie" (the liar's paradox) there is simultaneously a vibration of truth and falsehood. Both sides of the polarity - the lie and the truth - exist together and, in fact, depend upon each other for their own meaning and existence. A poetic faith, a willing suspension of disbelief, aids us in maintaining grace and stability in witness to some of the most appalling facts of existence. Not in the sense of denying those facts as real, but as in meeting them on their own absurd terms. Perhaps it is an irrational hope for peace and healing. Maybe it means laughing at yourself a little if your concerns pale pitifully in comparison to those gripped by profound tragedy. Or it looks like a ritual enactment - taking a metaphor literally - and believing your gesture is helping, at least a little. What do you resort to when you feel like there is absolutely nothing to be done? A Leo/Scorpio Square is like the fine line between laughing and crying.
I wish you all the best in navigating this terrain. See you next week for the New Moon in Scorpio!
I have been all about making collages these days. Picking through old magazines and gathering a variety of striking images, playing with arrangement, trusting my intuition as guide. Because magazine content and advertisements are already attempting to access, ping and influence our subconscious, collages hit us at a deep level. Working with this medium defies my ability to first select a topic and then create from or about it. Rather, a stream of seemingly random choices contribute to a meaning that seems to choose itself. Once complete, a collage complicates the desire for a defined subject or a clear means to interpret what appears. It remains staunchly a mystery and thereby can hint at the unknowable.
The cycles of experience within collage-making mirror my life. Some days nothing seems to stick out or inspire. You can be working from the exact same materials from one session to the next and the magic just is or isn't there. There are times I feel a direct and full connection to life. I can tap into my well of intuitive power and sense a unique balance of elements that is highly conductive of love/art/spirit. At other times, everything is just... basically... shit. Through it all is a flowing current. We are not always consciously riding it but it carries us nonetheless.
A collage in the process of becoming takes very little conscious input. I sift through images and tune into that under-running current. Things begin to suggest themselves and it is as if forms just want to become. When I slip into analysis or evaluation I can feel a mounting frustration. That's when patience and trust come in handy. You can give your mind a task - just look for more images - when you can sense it trying to control and determine things. Skimming through pages is so meditative you easily glide back into the flow. I have found in collage a very healing spiritual practice.
Our fixed-earth friend Taurus is all about experience. This tendency can express as attachment to a specific experience but transmutes into being very sensuously alive and present. It is an energy that builds slowly, which is why I am called to speak to collage or any practice that steadily flows until contact with the mystery emerges and flowers. Tragedy, acute fear, close-calls, hallucinogens... all of these can thrust us into a sharp contrast with habitual reality and alter our consciousness, perhaps in valuable ways. But Taurus is about dedication and cultivation of change. This Full Moon in particular is about appreciation, especially for talents, delights, resources or states that you've been investing in and can now thoroughly enjoy. Thank yourself for all you've done to be able to find the right pace where you flow easily with life. Bask in your awesomeness. Have a lovely Full Moon!
The New Moon in Libra happening this evening has me thinking about inter-subjectivity (a fancy word for being in relation) and about how our senses grant us privileged access to this world of relationship. In Chani Nicholas' Libra Moon write-up, she beautifully describes how our relationships bring us into greater intimacy with all aspects of our self, even trigger points and wounds. These Libra-specific lessons have been right on queue for me inter-personally, as I am sure you all are feeling this to one degree or another. Mutable and Cardinal T-squares overlap at this lunation, involving all of the outer planets, the Moon and the Sun. These pressurized formations can feel like clearing via painful extraction. With Saturn (heavy) and Pluto (deep) at the head of the Mutable and Cardinal T-squares, respectively, we may be in the midst of a super-gunky process.
When the Moon is new, it aligns with the Sun in our sky signaling both the start of a new cycle and a moment of balance, a very Libran quality. Libra is a Cardinal Air sign and this configuration speaks to me of the in-breath. Air is something we all share, regardless of the mystery of our differences. Even just a pause for slow, full breaths can smooth the ragged edges of any given moment. Air surrounds us as our internal spaces and cells surround air. Air is our very first gift of life, gathered from the outside world in our mother's lungs and delivered directly through her blood. The average person takes 17-30,000 breaths per day. Our blood circulates our body about three times per minute, traveling the distance of about four U.S. coast-to-coast trips in one day. You are an intricately wrapped series of invisible yet critical, constantly in motion, hundreds of thousands of cyclical journies of renewal.
These incomprehensible miracles of being are free for you to touch upon, especially if you are feeling down, under-appreciated or under-whelmed in the wings of this New Moon. Like air, our core self, the truth of who we know we are, is invisible. Not subject to rational understanding, it can be felt. Right now, if you shut your eyes or fold your hands you can feel the embrace of self. Lid upon lid, lip touching lip, sense and recover the potency of these small, subtle, taken-for-granted points of self-contact. As these intimate, complementary parts come together the senses simultaneously withdraw and you are inclined to turn inside. The bumps in the road of relationship point to those features in our internal landscape that we can witness with compassion, tenderness and love.
The upcoming Full Moon in Aries will be a Super Moon in the Northern Hemisphere, which means the Moon appears at its largest from Earth. The concurrent Lunar Eclipse will be best visible to us Arizonans at 7:47 p.m. (here's a nifty site to find maximum viewing times in your city). Every Full Moon opposes the Sun, thereby activating a pair of signs; for this lunation, the Aries/Libra channel is turned up. I can best describe the dance between these two poles as balancing the impulse, authority and uniqueness of our selves with the yearning to gel socially and environmentally and to belong. In Aries, we find the smoldering desire for self-actualization via understanding the instrument of our own being. In solitude, according to writer and social critic Thomas Mann, we can birth our original selves. And the Ram does enjoy its alone time. Yet if we carry a "blazing hearth in [our] soul" without sharing our warmth, the intense burn of our bottled up offerings can feel unbearable.
Countless creatives laud solitude as an essential key to knowing ourselves and earthing our genius. Personal projects flourish within a sacred space we create and where we give ourselves exactly what we need: quiet, inspiration, pampering, ritual or perhaps play. Willful Aries fully supports healthy boundaries and dedicated, vigorous pursuits (and fun play!). In solitude we are transformed. I feel fairly safe to say every path to spirit/realization includes some form of intentional seclusion. The root of alone is the Old English all ane, literally "all one." As we shift, expand and change, we will almost inevitably encounter resistance and misunderstanding in the outside world. To aspire to truth, integrity, and authenticity (all Aries values) requires the courage to be alone sometimes... or often. And not just physically. Even if we don't meet with outright rejection as we bring forth our uniqueness, we still struggle with these inexplicable realizations and the out-there but juicy and irreplaceable wisdom housed within each of us.
We experience all kinds of rejection in life which adds layers upon the social mask we wear. We cover and tame our truths, our enthusiastic hearts and our big dreams because it is too painful to bear their being dismissed or ridiculed. We buffer and dull the edge of our engagement with this world. The locus of connection where self meets other and world is Libra territory and the consequences of our surface-level engagement abound. Every "awesome!" "great!" or "amazing!" reflects how we are ultimately stuck, in fear, in the shallow end of the connection pool. This maybe sounds extreme; I myself respond superficially to life all.. the.. time and I don't feel like I'm in a constant state of fear paralysis. But think about it: the efficient, automated, soul-scant exchange dominates in our convenience-driven culture. To go deeper, we have to pry open and release ourselves from the mighty jaws of social conditioning and that takes tenacity and strength -not to mention vulnerability!
Our burning need to share is not satisfied by these fly-by interactions. We also see so much over-sharing because our landscape of connection is so very arid and stark. Aries is a sign of will. Without getting too esoteric, we can distinguish the motivations of our personality (typically in response or service to our self-image) and the subtle impulses of our seed of potential - the self to actualize - in this lifetime. Neither set of drives is "non-spiritual" or bad in any way. But moving from the promptings of our bliss or purpose carries a resiliency and positions us within a perspective that is sustaining regardless of external circumstances. And the best part is, because unfolding is a process and the full extent of it remains fixedly beyond us, we don't have to worry about any of the particulars! We just get to be ourselve
The Conscious Universe
I learned a little perspective-shifting technique that feels right to share (the origin of this practice escapes my memory so... sorry and thank you!) Imagine one hand is resting on your heart. Do not actually place your hand but use your imagination to feel it. Once you connect with that sensation, gently gaze at something in your environment. Simultaneously feel your heart awareness and perceive that what you are looking at is looking back at you. Though it is inanimate, sense its return gaze. The connection to your heart facilitates your recognition and reception of its consciousness. After some time with this practice - and I find it does take practice - you become increasingly aware that all of the universe is alive. Sitting in this recognition, external validation no longer really makes sense and it is near impossible to feel alone. Because the urge to share is fulfilled by the understanding that, down to the subatomic level, we share everything with everything; we can feel the interpenetrating flow of creative energy within all life.
Always there is more to say and better ways to say it... In closing, for now, I honor your/our solo/shared journey. Many blessings for this Super Moon/Full Moon in Aries!
My little, well-loved slice of cyber space is like a playground, a pillow for my head to dream upon, a public confessional for the sweetest secrets of my humanity. Thank you for visiting, whoever you are!